God’s Empowering Presence
Up until about a year ago, the idea of the Holy Spirit brought to mind visuals of people dancing and rolling on the floor, always uncontrolled and never lucid. Having been raised in a cessationist Christian circle, engagement with the Spirit was not just glossed over but warned against. In the words of our second-week speaker, Glenn Peterson, it was looked upon as the “unfortunate other.” This meant that my belief was one based on logic and resulted in a relationship with Jesus that held residence in my mind but didn’t inform my engagement with the world. I can look back and see the countless times that my intentions, however well-meaning or reasonable, came up short because I was operating from a place of self-sufficiency rather than dependence on a greater source. No matter how pure my motives might be, my actions are impacted by sin and are imperfect at best and harmful at worst, unless fuelled by God’s empowering presence.
Through the last couple of weeks, the role of the Holy Spirit has been presented to us not as ‘other’ but as a crucial element of Christian life. God’s perfect gift to us. This series has reinforced the reality that to endure as a follower of Jesus, without the Spirit dwelling inside of me, is to experience a relationship with Jesus that is hollow and one-dimensional. We are called to become people who don’t seek to understand the workings of the Spirit, but who desire and long for the closeness of His presence, in our hearts and our lives. To live from the knowledge of past experiences of the Spirit, be it from a misunderstanding of His character or an experience of deep pain, confines us to a state of lack. The Spirit is active and present and longs for us to engage in the same way. To become active participants in our journey of faith. This includes both the understanding of our minds as well as the state of our hearts. In order to experience the Spirit anew, we desperately need a fresh revelation that the Spirit is with us.
I have come to believe that trying to live without the Spirit, is to turn gray what God intended to be technicolor. Where we create legalism, the Spirit brings freedom. While we protect ourselves with cynicism and bitterness, the Spirit longs to turn our hearts back into flesh. I no longer want to continue on this pilgrimage without Him leading me. Like Moses said, when commanded to return to Egypt,
“If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.”
I want to go forward in faith, knowing that my fractured, imperfect, human intentions can never be enough because they were never meant to be. Perfection was never my purpose. I long for the Spirit to instill in myself and in our Church a sense of joyful anticipation.
May all of us continue to say, “now show me your glory.” Come, Holy Spirit.